the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize