Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
