I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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