The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
