Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Let's get the cat blown out
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
