If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
