What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
