ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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