PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
