She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
