If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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