We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
