I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
