Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
