break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm both gender and math confused
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
