When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
