Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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