and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
