Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
