So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
why do cheetos always look like penises
Princesses don't give blow jobs
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
