Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

You're perfectly engineered for doggy style

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(727): View more from Florida

I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.

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(817): View more from Texas

As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.

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(217): View more from Illinois

Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.

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(04): View more from

This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.

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(702): View more from Nevada

Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?

(725): View more from

Is there a big difference?

(702): View more from Nevada

It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker

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