I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
