i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
