my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I love you.
Bad choice
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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