I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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