two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
