honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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