you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
