I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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