he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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