Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
