Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
