Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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