I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
