He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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