Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
