we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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