I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Randomize
