"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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