i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
