hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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