Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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