You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
