I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
