some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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