Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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