why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
