How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
