dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
