those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
