I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
