he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize