there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
