I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
