I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
