I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just cut my nipple shaving
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize