just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Randomize
