it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
