I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
