She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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