I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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