Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
