I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize