So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
